The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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