I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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