when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
