No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
