eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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