dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
