Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
