Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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