its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
