so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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