I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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