Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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