Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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