marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
