but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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