I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize