Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
