yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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