there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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