it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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