i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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