I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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