It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
