I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
