Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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