TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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