dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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