Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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