Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize