the day after is always just damage control
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
