Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
