At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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