i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
