She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
