Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she woke up with a sticky ear
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
