I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
my poor anus
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
