Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
