Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
