Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
