Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
