i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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