My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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