I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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