In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
