whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
