And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
