i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
