So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
