why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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