He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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