I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
vagina is talking i cant
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How external is "for external use only"?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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