Sry I called you an 8
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
