hell yes lets make some ravioli
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
