my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
