Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
