some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
