I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
