He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
