there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
