ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
