I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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