so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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