so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
